On Oscar night I sat back with my husband and two cats, downed two ‘Belgian Whites’ and performed a heroic feat in social media. I tweeted 25 times in three hours, which is about the same number of tweets I posted in the last twelve months. I decided to super-saturate: Instead of direct tweets, I tapped in via HuffPost, where I had only commented once since signing up in 2008.
Why the tweeting frenzy? Educators call it “immersion”. My goal: to become comfortable with the medium, to see if I could be concise, to see if my comments echoed my peers. During (and shortly after) the Oscars, there were a total of 2,065 Oscar-related tweets on The Huffington Post’s Social News roundup. Mine were typical, not exceptional.
Before The Oscars, I was friendless on HuffPost. In three hours I’d made thirteen friends. If you are one of them, do not expect a luncheon invitation. Do not expect to be “poked”. Who chose the word ‘friend’ for someone who follows you on a social network, anyway? Most of the time, I don’t even like ME, why should I like YOU? Here are my top four Oscar tweets. I am only vaguely embarrassed by the other twenty one, which I suppose is an acceptable ratio of banter to blather.
“Why is Nicole Kidman holding hands with her chauffeur? He looks a bit sub-Urban.” “Saw Robert Downey at Aroma Espresso in NYC. Everyone left him alone, suspecting radioactivity. Geiger Counter in my panties confirmed it.” “I think Billy Crystal and Warren Beatty drank from the same hormone chalice.”
Maybe that last one was a bit obtuse for a 140 character tweet: We are consuming Xeno-estrogens in such disgusting amounts that aging males are distinctly feminized, like confused fish in polluted waters. Twenty years ago, I’d never put Warren and Billy in the same pond.